There was water boiling downstairs

I left my apartment
And walked down thirty six steps
Across one broken stair

And I found myself
In my neighbour’s apartment
He was wearing women’s underwear
Admiring his formidable tush in the mirror

Some tea? He said not looking at me
Please I said

His pet tiger was sitting in its cage
From my trip to Africa he said
Animals, the last colonies

I was surprised
That the building was not on fire
When he kicked off his panties
And showed me his beauty marks
The ones around his inner thigh

I poked my head in between his thighs
To get a better look
Superb I said
Good form
Good mating on your parents’ part

There was no tea
I drank hot water with lemon in it
Later we took a bath together


Today is my Birthday

Today is my birthday

For my birthday I made seventy two cupcakes
Forty seven sausage rolls
And I bought eight bottles of wine

I had a party with some people who
Usually live under my floor boards
And I even invited one neighbour

We played human darts
And we all swam together in the pool
And then we even watched the sunset together

Then the people returned under the floorboards
I kissed my neighbour goodbye
And I sat on the porch

And I laughed and laughed
And I realized I couldn’t remember how old I was