Train Ride

I was with my friend and her boyfriend
Eating poutine slathered in thick
cream cheese

I almost forgot to tell you,
Her eyes gleamed at his gaunt
approving face,
At work today
I saw the actress from that movie
we watched

Which?
The one where she is smoking
in the bath tub?

Yes
I was like uh…
Vous êtez une actrice?
And she said Oui.
Were you in the movie
Heartbeats by Xavier Dolan?
Oui.

Caffè Americano you said?
Oui.

*
When I arrive
finally
take an escalator from the platform
receive a run on hug
from my friend

I don’t tell her
My train ride sucked

I did not meet anyone
to fall in love with
My book was boring
And the woman next to me
crunched on four cucumbers total
and offered me one
to stay hydrated,
she said

*

On the train ride
to visit my friend
I was thinking of
“Un billet s’il vous plait.
Un billet s’il vous plait.
Un billet s’il vous plait.”

All these memories that make up
the soundtrack of my mind
seem to come
from a book or a movie

Even to say that is to make a reference

As well as to say
I have never been able to go anywhere
without myself

*

In the late night I sit in the large kitchen
with my friend’s roommate

(My friend, her boyfriend, her two roommates,
and I have all grown up in the same city
and are now dispersed
in two different provinces.)

She holds her shoulders back
and has a warm, honest smile

I had met her once long ago
Briefly
I had glanced at her as she passed me by
in a hallway in short shorts
The image I had of her then
is divorced from this reality
of her mouth sucking chocolate
off her finger in a moment in which she is
in her element
Then she was a friend’s older sister
That mysterious nexus of sexual secrets
stored to be passed down to a worthy sibling
Now she is the woman
making chocolate chip cookies
near midnight
Sharing a wisdom about the joy
in doing ordinary things

Her partner, she tells me,
“The person I was just on the phone with
earlier,”
has yet to move here
from the city they both grew up in
When I ask her if it’s hard for them
to be apart…
Yes, but
Life is long,
she says

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